Edstra Sensory Perception
by Luke5260
Summary: A bump on Ed's head yields some surprising results. Oneshot.


A/N: This story was written as a part of Flame Rising's Fireplace Challenge. The only rule in this challenge is that the story must include the line, "If I had known it would end like this, I never would have told you". Also, the story is set after season five.

**Edstra**** Sensory Perception**

Seasons seem to pass slowly in Peach Creek. This year was no different. After what had seemed like ages, the cool, brisk spring had given way to hot and sweltering summer. The leaves, once browned and wrinkled in the winter, had now become bright green and large, signifying a return to vitality and warmth.

This would mean nothing to the children of the cul-de-sac. Summer simply meant the end of school, and they were glad to see it go. The final school bell of the year had only rung one day before, but the cul-de-sac would return to its former summer glory. Once empty, with the occasional lost car or two, the circular neighborhood would be filled with the sound of play once again.

That would have been the case, however, if it were not for the very large, very deep hole in the center of the cul-de-sac.

"Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole!" chanted a tall, yellow skinned boy at the bottom of the hole.

As he chanted, he thrust his flattened head into the ground, throwing up dirt and bits of asphalt as he lifted it up in the air.

"Ed! Do be careful! You're throwing debris everywhere!" called another boy from the edge of the hole.

The boy adjusted the knit cap on his head, then looked at his shirt. After grimacing and brushing away the small spot of dirt from it, he turned to a boy next to him and said, "I still don't see the point in this endeavor, Eddy."

"I'm telling ya, Sockhead, it's the perfect scam!" cried Eddy. Despite his miniature height, Eddy's voice was quite loud, and rang through the cul-de-sac.

"People will come from miles around to see Eddy's Underground Grotto! It'll have everything: music, water, even some fine ladies. And it'll all be at the low, low price of twenty five cents."

The boy looked over to a piece of cardboard next to Eddy. On it was a crayon drawing of woman in a bikini, smiling. He guessed that it was some of Ed's handiwork.

He picked it up and said, "I suppose _this_ is one of the ladies?"

Eddy snapped, "It's going to be dark, Double D, no one's going to notice."

He then yelled into the hole, "Hey, Monobrow! Think you've dug enough there?"

Ed looked up at Eddy and cheered, "I'm almost to the treasure, guys!"

Eddy shrugged. That was as good of a signal as anything else. He nodded to Double D, who ran to Eddy's house.

* * *

Double D returned several minutes later, grunting and pulling a taut garden hose over his shoulder. The hose was long, but not long enough to easily stretch from Eddy's house, where it was connected to a water valve, to the hole. 

Double D then dropped the hose, panting.

"Come on, Sockhead!" yelled Eddy, "Put some muscle into it!"

"It's gone as far as it can go, Eddy!" gasped Double D.

Eddy stormed over to the hose, and yanked it, inching forward to the hole. Soon he too was grunting, as the hose refused to move.

"Eddy, the hose is too short! Stretching it any further could compromise the hose's structure!" warned Double D.

"In English?" asked Eddy.

"It means the hose will…"

Double D had no time to finish his sentence. The hose snapped, sending Eddy flying into the hole.

Ed, still in the hole, looked up to see a flying Eddy, headed straight towards him. He grinned.

"Eddy! When did you learn to fly?" he asked, just before Eddy slammed into him.

* * *

"This should keep the swelling down", Double D said as he applied an ice pack on the top of Ed's head. 

The three boys had moved to the fences, near the construction site. Eddy had figured that it would not have been a good idea to be anywhere near the hole now.

"I can't believe this!" Eddy groaned, "We were so close!"

"Tomorrow's another day", said Double D, "You _did_ cover up the hole, didn't you?"

"Yeah", Eddy grumbled.

Double D turned to Ed. Ed's face had a blank expression, even blanker than usual. Curious, Double D held up two fingers.

"Ed? How many fingers am I holding up?'

Ed squinted at Double D's hand, and moved in close to it.

"Seven?"

"Sounds fine to me", said Eddy, "Now, let's get going. Lucky for you, I've got another scam that's guaranteed to work!"

"Another one? Already?" asked Double D.

"I've got a whole year to make up for, Double D!"

Eddy began to walk to the cul-de-sac. As he passed by Ed, he tapped him on the arm, to get him to start walking. Ed froze, widening his eyes and breathing heavily.

"Get away, Eddy!" he cried.

"Get away from what?" asked Eddy, and looked around him. There was nothing to be found. Ed also looked around him, and furrowed his brow.

"But, I saw it Eddy!" stammered Ed, "You were walking, and all of a sudden, there was this huge bag, and it crashed right into you!" He swung one hand from above his head and clapped the other, to emphasize the point.

"Eddy, hallucinations are some of the first signs of brain damage! Perhaps we should get his parents to take him to a doctor?" asked Double D, who had walked up to Ed and placed a hand on his forehead.

Eddy snapped, "He's just fine! So he took a knock to the head; so did I, and you don't see me seeing things that aren't…"

Eddy stopped, and gaped at the large sack that sailed over the fence and towards him. The bag struck him in the stomach, sending him crashing into the ground. The sack burst open, spilling strands of hair all over the ground.

Double D turned to Ed, and said, "Ed? How in the world did you know that?"

Ed answered, "I told you, Double D, I saw it!"

"Hello, Ed Boys!" cried a tall boy, who had just climbed over the very same fence the sack had come from, "The end of school brings much merriment, yes?"

He looked toward Eddy.

"Ah, I see you've been hit by the shavings of my Nana's back. Sorry, Ed Boy, she is a very hairy woman."

"Jeez, Rolf, haven't you ever heard of a trash can?" shouted Eddy, after spitting out tufts of hair.

"What an amazing coincidence! Ed had a hallucination of a bag hitting Eddy, and that's exactly what happened. It really makes you wonder about the great scheme of things", Double D thought aloud.

Rolf's eyes widened. "You say the slow Ed Boy foresaw this?"

"Well, possibly, Rolf, but the idea of clairvoyance is an insecure theory, with its research only tenuous at best…"

Rolf recoiled back, and ran toward the neighborhood, screaming, "The Ed Boy foresees! Our precious cul-de-sac has been cursed! Cursed!"

Double D shook his head, and said, "It's funny how people can still believe in curses", and then chuckled.

"Well, gentlemen, let's be on our way."

There was no response. Eddy and Ed had already left.

Double D walked back to the cul-de-sac, muttering, "I really should learn to stop talking to myself."

* * *

Meanwhile, under the soft earth of the filled in hole, a large water pipe began to crack. 

The pipe had been fine, and fully intact, until that morning when Ed had dug into it. Even then, it only had a slight dent. The pipe even stood the combined forces of Ed and Eddy smashing into it at full speed.

The massive amount of dirt, however, was the last straw. The crack became wider, and a gush of water burst forth. The dirt above became mud.

* * *

The first thing Double D saw was that the sign on the stand in the middle of the cul-de-sac was spelled, "Predictshuns". 

The second thing he saw was the considerable line for the stand. Jonny and his wooden friend Plank were there, as were Sarah and Jimmy, Nazz, Kevin, even the Kanker Sisters.

The final thing he saw was the look of absolute rapture upon Eddy's face as he stared at the overflowing jar of quarters.

"Eddy!" Double D yelled, "What in the Sam Hill do you think you're doing?"

"What's it look like, Sockhead?" he answered, "They're just throwing their quarters away for Ed's vision stuff! We're going to be swimming in jawbreakers!"

At the same time, Jimmy sat in front of Ed. Jimmy put a quarter down on the counter.

"I'm a little nervous about this, Sarah", he whispered.

"Don't be silly", she replied, "It's just my stupid brother. Just let him hold your hand, and you get a prediction."

Jimmy paled. "I have to _touch_ him? I don't think my skin could take that much filth."

"Do not be afraid, Jimmy!" Ed boomed, "Take my hand, and you shall know the dark and terrible future!"

"See?" Eddy said to Double D, "Even he's enjoying it! Everybody wins!"

"This is how we get our gains? From using supposed 'visions'? Eddy, this is low, even for you! We can't just prey on the people who don't know any better!" Double D exclaimed.

"But they're real, Double D", interjected Jonny, "Ed said that Plank would find those pine nuts he'd been looking for. Isn't that right, buddy?"

Jonny held up Plank, as if the painted piece of wood could speak. It made no sound, but Jonny smiled and nodded.

"I've gotta admit, the dork can see the future", Kevin said, "He told me that my bike chain was rusted , and I was gonna crash into Nazz's garage if I didn't change it. So, I get to my bike, and it's rusted! There was no way he could have known that."

Double D was about to respond, when a loud, ululating cry rang out.

Everyone saw Rolf, wearing a suit of armor made from aluminum trash cans and riding a goat, knock down the stand.

"Rolf, what gives?" asked Nazz.

"The curse of the Foreseer shall not harm the home of the son of a shepherd!" he cried out, and leapt upon Ed, brandishing a fish.

"That's enough!" screamed Double D.

The cacophony of yelling and the slapping of fish ceased.

"I am sick and tired of everyone here acting like complete ninnies! All sensible people know that there is no such thing as people that can see the future! It's just nonsense, and I won't stand for it! I'm going to put my foot down on this right now!"

He did so. To his surprise, his foot sunk into the soft, darkly colored earth. The others also began to sink into the ground. They tried to run, but there was no escaping the rising mud, and they continued to sink into the cold, wet ground. The pressure of all the muddy ground broke the asphalt of the surrounding hole, as well as the foundations of the surrounding homes. Soon, the entire cul-de-sac was sinking into the mud.

Just before they went under the surface of the mud, Eddy snapped, "Well, gee, Monobrow, this is what you should have been seeing, shouldn't it?"

Ed, delighted with the entire situation, grinned and answered, "If I had known it would end like this, I never would have told you!"


End file.
